Resilience Redefined: How Adversity Shapes Us and Future Generations
4-5 min. read
Why do some people crumble under pressure while others emerge stronger? Science calls this resilience; the ability to adapt, recover, and even grow in the face of adversity. But can resilience be developed, and if so, how? What protective factors help us navigate and thrive through life’s toughest challenges?
These were the questions I had going into the very first class of my academic journey: Psychological Resilience. It was the starting point of my formal exploration into how humans adapt, cope, and grow in the face of adversity. The content was intense, sometimes uncomfortable, and ultimately transformative. It shifted the way I view adversity forever. What struck me most was how universal adversity is and yet how differently we respond to it. Anda and colleagues (2006) found that 64% of respondents aged 19 to 92 in the large national Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study reported at least one adverse childhood family experience. That’s nearly two out of three people, and I suspect the number may be even higher today.
I wrote about resilience once before, but I feel the need to return to the subject, in case these insights reach someone who needs them now. Resilience takes many forms. It can mean bouncing back from a poor grade, adjusting to a new environment, navigating personal or family health challenges, coping with the aftermath of bulling and abuse, or even grieving the loss of a loved one. While challenging or painful, these experiences, when understood and managed, can become powerful catalysts for growth.
Having faced my own share of adversity, I have come to see resilience not just as a scientific concept but as a vital life skill that shapes how we think, feel, and move forward. In my research, I came across a definition of psychological resilience that resonated with me:
Psychological resilience has been characterized by the ability to bounce back from negative emotional experiences and by flexible adaptation to the changing demands of stressful experiences (J. H. Block & Block, 1980; J. Block & Kremen, 1996; Lazarus, 1993).
My interest in resilience deepened when I began reflecting on my Estonian grandmother’s life. She lost both parents before the age of nine, was captured during the war and sent to a labor camp in Buchenwald, Germany, later faced her husband’s serious illness, relocated to an unfamiliar country, and ultimately endured the devastating loss of her spouse in her early twenties. And still, she carried on. She was resourceful, self-reliant, and wise, yet also deeply kind and profoundly grateful for life. Those values shaped her and became the legacy she shared with us.
In that very first psychology class, each of us had to select a book about resilience. I initially chose a book about a business leader I admired. But my professor assigned Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, just to me. It was as if she knew I needed it. For years, I had avoided the book, fearing it would be too painful given my grandmother’s story, and even though I knew it could be transformative and deeply moving. She insisted, and I will always be grateful.
Importantly, in that class I learned something that shifted my perspective: resilience is not fixed. Research shows that genetics account for 20–60% of our ability to cope with adversity, suggesting a mild to moderate genetic influence. But resilience is also shaped by multiple genes interacting with our environment.
This made me wonder: how much of my grandmother’s remarkable strength came from genetics, and how much of that resilience she developed and might have been passed down to me?
Enter Epigenetics, the study of how environmental factors, especially stress and trauma, can change gene expression without altering DNA itself. In other words, our experiences can leave a biological imprint, influencing how we, and even future generations, respond to adversity. It highlights both the fragility and the power of resilience: adversity can leave scars, but how we face it can also create lasting strength.
So here it is:
Stress involves two components: the actual pressure exerted on a person AND their perceived ability to cope with that pressure. We can modulate our stress response based on how we interpret events.
Humans generally use two types of coping strategies under stress: problem-focused and emotion-focused. Problem-focused strategies tend to be more effective, while emotion-focused strategies are useful when circumstances are beyond our control.
In contrast, approaches such as denial, rumination, substance use, guilt and other forms of disengagement are typically unhelpful or even detrimental.
Here’s the list of effective coping strategies and they include:
Active coping: Addressing the root of the problem.
Planning: Considering various options and alternatives.
Suppressing competing activities: Focusing on priorities and eliminating distractions.
Seeking social support, both instrumental and emotional.
Positive reinterpretation (reframing) and growth.
Humor.
Acceptance.
Prayer or meditation.
In contrast, ineffective coping strategies are:
Denial or avoidance: Refusing to acknowledge the issue.
Behavioral or mental disengagement: Avoiding dealing with stressors.
Substance abuse.
Rumination.
Understanding these strategies indicates that certain approaches to building resilience are more effective than others, and our control over situation evaluation is crucial. Viewing challenges as opportunities rather than threats is beneficial and even detrimental to our health, though I acknowledge not always easy to implement.
Through my studies and research on the subject, I've realized that dwelling on past events is counterproductive. I also found out that pervasive guilt or self-criticism is not only ineffective but can be hurtful long term.
I also learned that we might possess inherent protective factors contributing to resilience, such as:
• Agency/Self-efficacy (conviction that we have some level of control - emotional or behavioral)
• Emotional stability
• Extraversion
• Conscientiousness
• Agreeableness
• Self-acceptance
• Self-forgiveness
• Goal-directed behavior
• Humor
• Altruism
• Sublimation - transforming the negative energy into creative act (music, art, writing)
• Competence
While our genes shape part of who we are, it is empowering to know that we can influence genetic expression and overall health through resilient responses to stress, including cultivating and leveraging protective factors. Remember, genes may influence our behavior, but they do not determine it as my professor used to say.
By using these strategies and staying mindful during life’s challenges, we can influence not only our responses but also our genetic expression. This realization had a profound impact on me, showing that we can actively cultivate resilience in our own lives and, in doing so, pass it along to future generations.
The journey of resilience reveals a profound truth: we are not defined solely by our genetics or the circumstances we inherit. We are far more than the sum of those parts. We are sculptors of our own destiny, capable of shaping our responses, guiding our behaviors, and even influencing our genetic expression through the choices we make and the mindset we embrace.
This understanding can empower us to approach life's challenges not as insurmountable obstacles, but as opportunities for growth, transformation and meaning. We hold the power to redefine our narrative, to turn adversity into strength, and to pass on a legacy of resilience to future generations.
As we embrace this empowering perspective, let us remember that each challenge we overcome is a step towards a stronger, more resilient self.
Let’s face life’s unexpected twists with courage and hope, embracing the profound truth that our choices can shape not only our own destinies but also leave a lasting mark on future generations.
